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Tkil

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Bi Bi Birdy [Feb. 24th, 2004|12:15 am]
Tkil
[mood |amusedamused]

Despite the fact that I wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that would have my member (err...), I recently joined OkCupid. Along with most LiveJournal users, it seems.

I’m amused that most of the matches it picks for me are bisexual and polyamorous. I have absolutely no problem with either of these lifestyles; I’ve dated bisexual women before, and really enjoyed it — the experience of walking along, and both of us “checking out the scenery” is a very fun one.

Polyamory makes lots of sense to me, but it twigs my massive insecurities: I can’t make even one woman happy (thus ruling out multiple partners for me), and if I can’t make her happy, I’m obviously an inferior specimen, so why should she bother with me (thus ruling out my participation as one of her multiple partners). (Translation: I don’t think I’m worth the effort, why would anyone else?)

I did find this thought worth a giggle, though:

I’ve often heard the ha ha, only serious comment that being bisexual doubles your chances of getting a date. The converse must apply, however: if you’re attracted to someone who’s bisexual, your chances are halved.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: rockit_grl
2004-02-24 03:35 pm (UTC)

bi

I check out girls, but I'm not bisexual. I can appreciate a good butt or a nice set of breast.

My boyfriend always laughs when I check out a girl but it's not like I want to have hot steamy sex with her.

I wonder if some of these girls who are calling themselves bi are actually not.
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[User Picture]From: tkil
2004-02-25 05:21 am (UTC)

Re: bi

I check out girls, but I'm not bisexual. ... I wonder if some of these girls who are calling themselves bi are actually not.

I suspect this is true for at least some of them. More precisely, they might be (say) a 0.5 on the Kinsey Scale — like you, they appreciate a good view, but don’t even fantasize about doing anything about it.

My “abuse of terminology” sensor actually goes off rather more strongly on how many of these girls define themselves as polyamorous. A part of me (rather cynically) guesses that this is their way of defining a closed-except-by-their-invitation group of “friends with benefits”. (Which might very well be a perfectly valid definition of polyamory; it’s just that I seem to have associated the term with longer-term situations like n-person marriages where n is greater than 2...)

My boyfriend always laughs when I check out a girl

Ever compare notes / tastes? :)
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[User Picture]From: nolly
2004-02-24 05:43 pm (UTC)
No one is going to make anyone else happy all the time.

In a way, I think poly is easier than monogamy, sometimes -- for example, if A is unhappy with B, perhaps because B isn't available as much as A would like, zie can turn to zir other partner(s).

It still requires a lot of work and communication, but so does healthy monogamy.

And if I'm insufficiently coherent, my apologies; I'm still on my first cup of coffee.
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[User Picture]From: raindancer
2004-02-24 11:58 pm (UTC)

heh

I'm just going to give you a ;) here Tony.

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[User Picture]From: alitaorg
2004-03-02 09:03 am (UTC)
making women happy is highly overrated.

i'm not bisexual, but i am indeed a woman, so you can take my word for it.
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