||[Nov. 16th, 2003|03:15 am]
|||||Siouxsie & the Banshees - Twice Upon A Time||]|
Staying up until dawn.
Listening to Siouxsie & The Banshees.
Dorking around with computers (albeit some 1,000 times faster than the computers I played with back then...)
It’s funny. I have these tremendous yearnings for the past, yet I don’t remember it being necessarily all that much fun. Maybe too many John Hughes movies, maybe too much idealism, maybe wanting to go back where I felt there was a point.
Back to a much simpler time in my life. It would be nice to bring along what little confidence and knowledge I’ve picked up over the years, and the income level I have now...
But we can’t go back.
2003-11-16 09:44 am (UTC)
is that why they say...
youth is wasted on the young.
I remember wanting to be molly ringwald when I was younger. I had a commador 64 I used to program on. Bright pink 80's lipstick, hula hoops and barbie dolls.
2003-11-16 04:32 pm (UTC)
Re: is that why they say...
Ha. The sad part is that even when I was young, I didn’t do nearly enough things to qualify as having wasted it. :) (cf that comment of mine a few weeks back, about being extraordinarily inhibited.) Maybe it was that I had a sufficiently vivid and macabre imagination so that I never, ever felt “invincible”. Since that’s supposed to be the root of that wasting...
C-64. There are some memories. I never had one (sulk!); I had a VIC-20, which was pretty bletcherous. I actually learned BASIC by reading a book; by the time I actually got to play on an Apple II, I could immediately go at it. Tkil the Dinosaur (or at least Early Mammal, I guess.)
Molly Ringwald? Eeek. She was always a bit too bitchy for me. I was all about Ally Sheedy
. Yes, I had a taste for the gothy freak chicks even back when The Breakfast Club
came out. (But of course, the geek is left without a girl at the end of the movie. Go figure.)
For me, there is not much of a past. I was 8 years old when 1990 came around. Anything earlier than that is a blur. I remember some of the early 1990s. But the most profound memories were that of the years 1996 - 2000.
2003-11-16 04:34 pm (UTC)
You young whippersnapper!
That’s ok. I don’t remember much from the ’80s except cheesy music (which I still like, crazily enough) and feeling distinctly uncool.
Now I feel the urge for an “old fogie” userpic. Where’s my cane?
2003-11-16 06:10 pm (UTC)
are all these new technical luxuries really an advantage or a disadvantage?
Dunno. A part of me is very scared of how powerful all this new technology is. The rest of me loves it and wants to play with the toys.
someday i'll own me a pink kharmann ghia....
I don’t even have a dream car anymore. I’ll most likely drive my current car into the ground (125k miles and going strong!). After that, who knows...
We didn't have nostalgia when I was a kid, we were too busy going out and doing stuff. What's all this?
2003-11-16 06:43 pm (UTC)
Re: pah. Nastolgia.
Maybe that’s the difference. You’ve lived your teenage years to their fullest (only a few days left!), while I spent mine concentrating on academic pursuits or trying to decide why I wasn’t doing anything.
Disturbingly enough, people I’ve known the whole while have mentioned that they think I’ve gotten worse since then. Scary, isn’t it?
Tell me your story
You know Tony... I understand the feeling all too well. For me it is different memories, but there are times when a smell, or a clip of music or whatever and I'm back at some important moment in my life... sometimes a painful moment, sometimes a happy one. It would be nice to go back to those times with what I know now... but you're right, we can't. Some delerium songs have some interesting memories attached. =)
2003-11-16 08:00 pm (UTC)
I hope that those memories are mostly “interesting” in a good, warm-and-fuzzy kind of way, not in an “oh so that’s where that neurosis came from” kind of way. :)
The real irony of my nostalgia is that, while I have had some wonderful experiences in the past (meep! :), I still look back and see all the things I did wrong, all the chances I didn’t take.
It’s very odd to talk with people who think I have adventured, mostly based on my driving around the country. But that never seemed very difficult or taxing to me. I envy people who have managed to take more risks with their own lives, especially with their emotions; I’ve always been overly cautious in that regard.
Thus my reference to the John Hughes films. They’re contrived as hell, of course, but they each frame the transition of teenagers taking risks and growing. Something I fear I didn’t do — and, to some extent, continue to not do.
I practically *live* in my second childhood! Things I loved to do in the past - I still do! It's not hard to simplify your life, as we are learning at the moment. I wouldn't go back to high school years for anything, but I really enjoy being a big kid with the knowledge I have now :)
hi. this is cordy. how are you? you can email me at email@example.com. i haven't talked to you in forever.